Title : Nightmares
Author : Hannurdock
Summary : Ever wonder what the Turtles worst nightmares were?
Rating : PG-13
My nightmare always begins the same.
I'm in the middle of a losing battle with Raphael and Michelangelo by my side. Donatello cannot be reached by shell-cell. we are alone and outnumbered.
I'm fighting to keep afloat of all the ninja surrounding us. I try to keep the majority from my brothers, but suddenly I hear a sharp cry of pain from Mikey.
I'm momentarily stunned, then turn my sword on the one responsible for evoking that cry from my brother. I'm still breathing heavily as I feel steel connect with flesh and then my eyes drift downward to Mikey.
Mikey lies awkwardly on his side, breathing shallowly. His skin is pale and his lips are a horrible shade of green. The sword that had pierced his side now lies beside him, along with the owner; decapitated, limbs twitching slightly in death.
"Mike!" Raphael is always the first to get to the scene of carnage. He barrells his way through his adversaries and past my frozen form. Falling to his knees I see the sudden comprehension in his eyes. See the streaks of teartracks on his face as he turns wildly, his gaze finally locking on me. "Leo, we havta do sometin, now. Mikey aint gonna make it!"
I drop beside Raphael and watch Mikey take shallow breaths. He is juddering and twitching, his eyes barely open. A small trickle of blood runs from his mouth, and I feel him tense up as a new wave of agony rushes through his body.
"Leo! What'd we do?" Raph pulls out his shell cell, his fingers trembling uselessly as he hits Don's number and waits impatiently for him to answer. Angrily, he throws the phone away from him, hitting the ground with his fist. I feel his bones crack with the violence of his movement.
Mikey turns suddenly, gasping. His hand grasps at thin air, and I feel my own hand drawn towards his; holding it tightly as I fight to keep calm.
"I messed ... up ... bro ...." Mikey says quietly, his voice hitching with pain. A small tear trickles down his pale cheek, and he looks helpless, defeated. "I'm sorry ..."
I shake my head and smile at Mikey. "You did great, Mikey. We won. We're safe now."
Mikey lurches, struggling to breathe. He doesn't notice the shadows surrounding us. His eyes can barely see. A fresh wave of agony comes over him, and his hand crushes mine.
I hear a sword unsheath behind me. Cold metal presses on my shoulder. Refusing to turn, I hold onto Mikey's hand and watch the twitching cease and his breathing still. His face is turned towards me but his eyes are cold, lifeless. I don't have to check for a heartbeat. I know it's over.
Raphael has become a ball of quivering grief by my side, howling with rage. He pushes himself up and launches himself at our approaching attackers, his moves awkward and clumsy.
I lean forward and close Mikey's eyes with my fingers. I kiss his brow and feel the heat quickly evaporating from his still corpse.
I turn to Raph, who is killing everyone in his path. His blind fury leaves no prisoners, his rage spells death to anyone and everyone in his path. He had taken out the ninja behind me with a merciless strike, and I watch as he runs out of enemies.
He is coiled and taut and unrelenting. He looks at me with terrified eyes, sudden understanding of his violent storm descending. He lifts his sai and points the prongs toward his own chest.
"Raph, no!" I feel myself moving towards him before I truly understand what is happening.
"Mikey's gone. Leo." Raph is sobbing violently, and he plunges the sharp prong of his centre blade viciously through his own plastron and into his heart.
I reach him a second later as he falls awkwardly to the ground, catching him in my arms as I feel his breathing cease. A few further sobs, and then nothing.
I ring Donatello on my shell cell. After a few moments, his voicemail comes on. I leave him a small message in a calm voice. I tell him our brothers are dead. I tell him to keep living. To find a way to move on without us.
I drag the sai out of Raphael's heart and hold the point to my own chest. Before the weapon plunges into my own heart I feel a warm collection of memories overcome me - memories of my brothers and I growing up, fighting over video games, sparring in the dojo, meeting April and Casey, defeating the Shredder. These memories are all glorious, and I feel a heavy weight descend.
Those memories will be our last. I plunge the sai deep before fear can take over and numb my steady hand.
It is almost instantaneous, a sudden mixture of pain and relief flooding through me as I topple over Raph's corpse. I see shapes, vivid and bright. A rainbow of colours all swirling against my dulling eyes. I see a vast brightness at a distance and I see Mikey and Raph smiling at me through a hazy tunnel.
As I float towards them, they reach out their arms for me. I have no hesitation. I float on, towards their welcoming embrace.
I am alone.
No, really, really alone.
In my dream, there is no-one left on the whole planet.
I'm confused and wondering along empty streets by myself.
Returning to the Lair, I find an empty den ... no Master Splinter ... no brothers.
I turn on the television and find the emergency signal on all channels.
There are no shows, no news .... no nothing.
I call out to the others but no-one answers. My heart starts to thump in my chest, furiously and I feel dread deep inside.
I check my brother's rooms, all empty. Master Splinter's room is empty too.
So I make my way to the surface, it's daylight but I don't care, and all too soon I'm in fresh sunlight. I would normally keep to the shadows, but there is no need for secrecy.
There is no-one around.
The streets are empty. No kids play on skateboards. No adults are shopping.
Central Park is as silent as the grave.
I walk quietly, compelled forward. The silence is horrifying. My brothers and sensei are gone forever. I am completely alone.
I struggle on, trying to find any sign of life. Anything with a beating heart, other than myself.
I head over to Casey and April's apartment above the 2nd Time Around Store. I let myself in through the window, and find the flat empty.
The whole world is empty.
By now, I'm starting to get freaked out by this whole thing.
I hate being alone. I'm not used to it. Usually our Lair is filled with laughter and noises coming from Donny's lab. I'm not used to silence, and I hate it.
I don't know what to do.
If Leo was here ... he'd guide me.
If Raph were here ... he'd slap me upside the head and tell me everything will be okay.
If Donny were here ... he'd be finding an answer to our problem.
If Master Splinter were here ... he'd gently push me towards a solution.
However, none of them are here.
There are no birds, no animals, no mutants and no people.
The world is a deserted place and I am wandering in silence along the city streets.
It is daylight and the sun is shining brightly, but I can't enjoy the moment.
After I have wandered for a long while, I see something flashing up ahead.
My heart leaps with joy! Someone else is here!
I dart towards the flashing light and start to slow as I approach its source.
An emergency vehicle, empty, flashing away.
There are no people here.
I am completely alone.
A bitter wind chills me as I move onward. I have no clue where I am going.
There is no plan.
I have already given up.
I walk until I waken, covered in a sheen of sweat.
My nightmares always occur in an alternate world in which I had once the misfortune of visiting.
The Shredder and The Foot were in control of the world, and they forced people to work in intensive labour camps for much of their days. Master Splinter had died, so had Casey Jones. By the end of my other-worldly visit, my brothers were dead too.
I have nightmares about them blaming me for letting them down. It was my plan, and I let everyone down. The price for world peace was the lives of my three siblings, and I can never forgive myself for accepting the cost.
Even now, in the deepest and darkest recesses of my mind and nightmares, I see their faces. I see Raph with his one eye staring coldly at me, loathing me for the choices I made. I see Leo, with his eye gear shaking his head. He can't even look me in the eye.
But what shatters my heart the most is Mikey. He stands there, a broken warrior, with one arm. He looks at me with such recrimination that it breaks my heart. I can see the judgement in his eyes.
Leo and Raph are screaming at me tearfully, but Mikey doesn't say a word.
When my two eldest brothers have finished their onslaught, it is only then that Mikey steps forward.
He lays his one hand on my shoulder and gives me a sad and resigned look. "It's okay, Donny. We were always going to die. You knew it. So did we."
That's where the root of my nightmares lie.
I did the math and worked it out long before any of them took their final breath.
I did know they were going to die.
In that moment, I became a traitor to my family.
My nightmares begin wid a horrid scream comin' from an unknown place. My bros and I run to help and we find a giant mutated house fly about to chew on some poor sucka in a red tracksuit.
We leap inta battle. I'm first, even though I hate bugs and dig my sais into its furry, vibratin' body.
Man, this is one ugly mutant. Even beats Mikey.
For a second I think I got it nailed, then the fly turns and bats me across the room.
I'm laying there, in a crumpled heap and unable to move.
My body's numb and helpless. I can see my brothers fightin' and being skewered one by one by a giant sting.
This isn't a house fly. It's a wasp.
Nothin' is worse at that moment than watchin' my brothers dying.
Nothin' is worse than the helpless feelin' of not bein' able to do anything.
Leo and Don have gone down, and aren't moving at all. Eyes open and starin' at me blindly.
I try ta scream at Mike to get out, retreat, but my voice is silent. I screamed inside, watchin' my bro get killed and knowing there's nothin' I can do to stop it.
He crawled over to me, leaving a blood trail, mouthin' my name.
He doesn't reach me. Mike flops still one last time, and I watch as the giant wasp hovers closer.
Just fuckin' kill me. At least I'll be with my brothers.
When I open my eyes I'm in a graveyard and I am looking at the graves of my brothers, Splinter, April and Casey.
There was nothing I could do to save them.
They died and left me to wander the globe, a hermit in the shadows.
My greatest fear ... I live it every night.